Good thing I have a lot of hobbies

My dentist sees things other people don't. At least that's what she says.

"I see him," she told me. The man she was describing was unemployed. "He had a difficult childhood."

A few months later, he disappeared. She was disappointed. Not surprised. Disappointed.

Then she met another one. "I see him." This one lived with his ex-wife. "Only temporarily."

Then another. "I see him." This one borrowed money. Then another. "I see him." This one was finding himself. Apparently, he had been finding himself for twelve years.

I began to notice a pattern. She did not. Every bad decision came with an explanation. Every explanation came with hope. Every hope came with another bad decision.

Then one day she announced she was changing her life. "I'm getting involved." "With what?" "Everything."

And she did. Golf. Boating. Walking club. Community theater. Health club. Volunteer work. Cooking classes. If there was an activity within fifty miles, she joined it.

For years I received updates. "I met someone." Then six months later: "Never mind." Then: "I met someone." Then: "Never mind." Then: "I met someone." Then: "Definitely never mind."

The hobbies continued. The men continued. The explanations continued. "I see him." Of course she did.

Then recently she called with exciting news. "I finally figured it out." "Figured what out?" "The secret."

I waited. After all these years, I assumed it would be something profound.

"It was the hobbies." "The hobbies?" "Absolutely."

She started counting. "Golf. Boating. Community theater. Walking club. The health club." "You have to get out there," she said. "That's how you meet people."

I nodded. "Where did you meet him?" "Match.com." "Not golf?" "No." "Not boating?" "No." "Not community theater?" "No." "Not the walking club?" "No." "The health club?" "No." "Match.com." "Yes."

She smiled. "Good thing I have a lot of hobbies."

WHACK!