I Have Questions for Dr. Mattel

Dear Dr. Mattel,

At what point did everyone decide Ken was a catch?

Barbie has the Dream House.

Barbie has the Dream Car.

Barbie has had more careers than most people have had passwords.

Ken is at the pool at two o'clock on a Tuesday with a glass of orange juice and absolutely nowhere he needs to be.

That's not a criticism. It's an observation.

Barbie's friends are waving red flags like they're directing airplanes on a runway.

Barbie says,

"You don't know him like I do."

Ken has been married twice.

Doesn't talk to his sister.

Has a fascinating explanation for every relationship, job, and misunderstanding in his life.

Barbie says,

"You don't know him like I do."

Dr. Mattel, help me understand.

Was Ken always a catch?

Or was Barbie so dazzled by the smile, the tan, and the abs that she skipped the part where her friends were trying to tell her something?

Because from where I'm sitting, Ken may be the greatest salesman ever produced by Mattel.

And Barbie?

Barbie thinks the red flags are part of the décor.

Respectfully,

A woman with questions.